This is probably a weird one, but, man, shout out to all the people on tumblr I love so much but don’t know how to talk to. Y’all got people like that? Just, fucking, everyday, I’m like this person is so funny and smart and cool and beautiful and has so much integrity—they just have the fucking…
Yo cool *node* thanks…… *gives secret handshake and walks away*
I don’t trust a wooden cutting board.
It’s supposed to guard against too much cutting, right? But what the fuck is this piece of wood gonna do about it? It wasn’t always that shape! It didn’t come down off the tree like that. That wooden cutting board has been cut already!
I don’t need a board of any kind… I cut my stuff, like those Sushi-guys… with two sharp swords… throwing my food in the air…. during their fall and before my Veg reach the floor… I cut them in pieces with fast and swirly movements with my Japanese-swords… and a midget is holding a bowl to catch my food. And he’s good he never failed …ok. only once. He lost a toe, when one of my swords slipped through my fingers… *sorry Herbert* :(
One creepy thing about The Twilight Zone is that everyone is always white. Even when the episode takes place in a prison on an asteroid, you can bet that space rock only got white folk.
…..they are the egg yolk of the universe. *folk = yolk
At least 80% of the time, the person I’m talking to is thinking, “he talks too much.”
….That would not bother me. I’m a good listener and do not talk much, but maybe after about 3 months I’ll possibly arguing for the first time.
I worry that everyone else at this McDonalds thinks I look like I really *belong* here.
Actually, No one belongs there… Not even McDonalds.
Sometimes I don’t post stuff I’m thinking about on tumblr because I’m afraid it will come across as too “high school thoughtful.” You know what I mean? Like, that pseudo-thoughtful shit—what if my color red is different than your color red type shit. Or like I think one of the scariest things…
…depend on how romantic. *Actually a partner / a very good friend should give you enough strength not to worry much about those things. You will not only share with her / him your thoughts, the fun, the pain, the worries and your ….margaritas. There’s this gap you want to close and this is possible if your partner / friend understand your helplessness and gives you all the time you need to overcome your doubts and fears.
I don’t put my pants on one leg at a time. I don’t even understand that. Does this mean most people are standing up when they put on pants? I would never do that. That’s fucking crazy. Anywhere you can be where you don’t have pants on is gonna also be a good place to sit down or lie down. A…
…your thoughts can easily take off a small plane into Nirvana.
If I had a $150 million dollar fortune, I think a funny goof would be to write my will so that I left all the money to someone I’d never met and who totally didn’t need the money. No money to charity. No money to my friends or family. The lawyer would have to tell them all, ah yeah, sorry, he left all his money to Ryan Seacrest.
So, then I wish you a long, healthy life and that you reach a turtle-age of [around] 150yrs… and Ryan Seacrest is passing before you. :)